s i x p e g s

fashion, music, fun, love and everything about my life.

Change for the better.

with 24 comments

Screen shot 2011-07-13 at 5.18.38 PM

Everybody has changed.
Yesterday, I realized that for every relationship that I have been in,
I grew a little, and died a little at the same time.
After being in and out of a couple relationships, I became a little tired inevitably.
Tired of trying to understand a whole new person from scratch. Tired of starting all over.
But fortunately, I was never tired to love.
In fact, love is the only fuel to keep me from getting jaded.

Though a part of me died in every relationship that ended, I believe I am fundamentally still who I was.
She told me that this whole “growing and dying” part is called Change.
Inevitable. And it happens to everyone.
I haven’t been less of a person. I’m just different, that’s all.
I have changed. I grew.

Everyone has a past.
No one but ourselves have the ability to decide whether we want to learn from it and move on,
or dwell in it and suffer.

When I think back on what my life has been so far, I feel aimless.
I think I am a optimistic/pessimistic schizophrenic.
Sometimes I thought I was really cool because I have been dealing with crises in life pretty well,
like I would be able to survive anything.
Sometimes, I feel like a slightest wave could drown me without warning.
I feel unsettled.

How do people equate a life well-lived?
By whether you have married?
By whether you have children?
By how much money you make a year?
By how many countries you have been to?
Or by how many generations of descendants one has at one’s funeral?

Are people who grow old alone in their little apartments really unhappy?
Or if you have 10 children and live in a huge mansion, does that mean you have lived your life well?

There are many ways to be happy.
And for today, I hope we can all learn how to not judge people based on what we think is best for them.

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Written by SIXPEGS

July 13, 2011 at 5:25 pm

Posted in Reflections

24 Responses

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  1. ummm are you a les or bisexual?

    Dorothy

    July 13, 2011 at 7:48 pm

    • Dorothy – Does it really matter?

      sixpegs

      July 13, 2011 at 7:59 pm

  2. Have similar thoughts and sentiments. Could relate. Couldn’t agree more with your last statement. Always makes one feel better to know another who share the same mindset. We are never alone.

    fivepegs

    July 13, 2011 at 8:36 pm

  3. there is someone greater than us–the Supreme Being…if you’re willing to come to Him then you will see that there is more to life than this…that we can…not only happy…but joyful :)

    jassy

    July 14, 2011 at 12:01 am

  4. If you live your life by how ppl judge you, thats not right. We shld live for ourselves. So do not care about what others say about you. Dorothy is just trying to be mean. i mean its very obvious that your partner now is a gal. I have frens that change their partner in terms of gender but there is true love in them.

    How do people equate a life well-lived? To me, i wld say that a life well-lived is when u know that you have achieved your goals in life. You do not need to be married to have a well lived life. See how many ppl are not married and still are happy with their life. And see how many ppl that are married but do not live well. I believe everyone has one or more frens and family that are in these kind of situation. Pegs, i dunno if u studied management module before but if u have not, go google on “Maslow Hierarchy of needs”. Everyone is at a different stage of needs. When we have attained that particular stage of needs, we will move on to the next one.

    i hope this will help u and that u will feel happier. I want the old pegs back. i love reading ur blog. So many interesting things to learn and see. :) Dun care about those useless comments. :) Cheer up and SMILE! :)

    samantha

    July 14, 2011 at 12:02 am

  5. hello! i’ve been reading you since the old days in NTU, till i started work, got married, and had a kid. samantha is right. we have lived well when we can look back at our lives and feel that we have not wasted our time here. we have lived well when we can look back at all the foolish things we have done, and yet smile at them. we have lived well even if eventually we do not achieve all of our goals. we might achieve some of them, but for the goals which remain unchecked off our bucket list, take heart that the journey (even in penning down a goal as such!) has contributed to you as a person.

    and as you have mentioned before, it is most important to be happy and fulfilled. that is the hallmark of a life well lived.

    ling

    July 14, 2011 at 7:15 am

  6. i feel exactly the same way as you now. i guess im going thru similar to what you are going thru. and i really dont know how to make myself feel better.

    jas

    July 14, 2011 at 12:52 pm

  7. jia you ladies. life has no right and wrong and should be this and should be that. jia you!

    xin

    July 14, 2011 at 5:53 pm

  8. i think you are just confused. I hope you will be strong enough to make the right choice not because you are happy but because there is more to life than this :)

    jassy

    July 14, 2011 at 9:04 pm

  9. You could not step twice into the same river; for other waters are ever flowing on to you. – Heraclitus

    I never could understand this quote, until much older, when change is the only constant in life. We might not even know who we were, for the you from yesterday will never be the same of today.

    What most important is this moment. Live it well! :)

    val

    July 14, 2011 at 9:30 pm

  10. Hugs!! 加油!!! (:

    ihappiness

    July 14, 2011 at 11:52 pm

  11. Hi, there is no right or right, or something to gauge happiness.

    One may be happy with just a cup of plain water, while the other needs a can of soft drink.
    One may have tons of money to spend, but no time to and having no one to spend with.

    Most important is being happy with where ever you are, or what ever you are doing.

    “Change is the only constant in life.”

    To Peggy and to all of you: Take care and have a good weekends ahead!

    Hong Wei

    July 15, 2011 at 9:54 am

  12. yeah, it does. cos I’m les so I wonder if you are. do you love A that way? If yes, it is so touching.

    Dorothy

    July 15, 2011 at 8:23 pm

  13. Good post and totally agree with you.
    This is the phases of journey and you will learn through every experiences and gain from there be it love and anything..

    hazel

    July 16, 2011 at 1:14 am

  14. “I hope we can all learn how to not judge people based on what we think is best for them.”

    Only YOU can define your own happiness. It is as simple (or difficult for some) as being honest with yourself (:

    Gambatte, Peggy!

    Ellen fan (yes the same one)

    July 16, 2011 at 2:42 am

  15. life is short…….time wont stop for anyone……

    just live what you are.and.what you want.

    do rember..only family is the real love…

    i still finding my way standing..it seem soo hard.
    ..i dun know when will i able to stand..
    still..i trying my best……

    you are lucky to find a love one to love you..
    and u able to love again….

    not for me..cos i not brave enough to love again..
    once hurt deep..it wont so easy to open heart again…
    i rather be alone……

    but happy for you able to love again!!
    do be happy!!!!:)

    kimbermii

    July 17, 2011 at 10:32 pm

  16. hello. it’s the loathful me again.

    i don’t know u personally and many will think i m judging u. i just felt “wasted” cos i used to like the past u. all cheerful, optimistic & very in love with ur bf (be it miumiu or buttons). it just APPEARED to me that tis time round it’s a short-lived novelty. it’s ok to be lost in certain things in life sometimes bt not what gender u fall in love with.

    if this comes from u 10 years, we all could prob grasp and accept this better. anyway maybe it’s really just me (another kpo reader) but i hope u’ll get the light and figured out at least which gender u really love. good luck peg!

    hellopasserby

    July 17, 2011 at 11:05 pm

  17. hi peg, love your posts.
    i think that its not about gender, its about love.
    whether you found it on a male or female it doesnt matter and wasnt an issue anyway. males and females are also so different to start with i dont understand how they can understand each other and love each other the same way ..

    just be happy and live for yourself

    chloe

    July 18, 2011 at 2:49 pm

  18. i love punany! i’m sure u do now!

    karmasutra

    July 20, 2011 at 11:37 am

  19. Hi Pegs,

    Surprisingly, some of your posts are always my exact sentiments.. I wish I had the strength and courage to move on, like you did, when you need.

    Couldn’t agree more with what you said.. People always seem to judge someone based on their own opinion. That’s kinda sad.

    JAPB

    July 24, 2011 at 12:06 pm

  20. love, i believe is like an art that is subjective. different perspectives and judgements on one relationship.
    however the artist usually take no critics and carve out an ending of their work.

    be it happy or depressing. love is a journey that i feel no one should have regrets on.

    Life goes on…

    addy

    July 24, 2011 at 7:04 pm

  21. why did u n button break up ? :(

    I am really sadden by it. Seeing all your post after your separation only hints to me about your hurt, somehow or rather. It’s strange you know, regardless that I do not know you two, I wish I could help. You two have been through so much… his grad… YOUR grad… its all so loving n touching… it’s like I am reading a novel and the characters broke up in the end… I feel sad .. many say you are the bad one… but I believe you have your reasons… I wish I know…

    I wish one year later.. you realise you love him most… n you two get back together… if it is not too late then …

    shan

    July 25, 2011 at 8:52 am

  22. A rule I live by is if I’m happy, then I have done well for myself. Find happiness again peggy!

    The Shoe Bunny

    July 31, 2011 at 11:07 pm

  23. Deary Peggy babe ~~~
    Haven beem reading your blog for ages due to work…
    How hv u been?? Hmm i totally agreed with watever u mention in this entry man…well changes happen all the time. Hope that u can pull through all the obstacles in life and be happy! :) Everyone make various decision at different point of their life :) And i have made one major decision too..just make sure u dont regret and you are happy for the rest of your life :)

    We stay so near yet so far…haa meet up for coffee ya :) still missing that first meet up we had man…last but not least

    Love
    Eme hugzs

    Emelind

    August 18, 2011 at 2:12 pm


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