s i x p e g s

fashion, music, fun, love and everything about my life.

How to be alone.

with 9 comments

HOW TO BE ALONE by Tanya Davis

If you are at first lonely, be patient.
If you’ve not been alone much, or if when you were, you weren’t okay with it, then just wait.
You’ll find it’s fine to be alone once you’re embracing it.

We could start with the acceptable places, the bathroom, the coffee shop, the library.
Where you can stall and read the paper, where you can get your caffeine fix and sit and stay there.
Where you can browse the stacks and smell the books.
You’re not supposed to talk much anyway so it’s safe there.

There’s also the gym.
If you’re shy you could hang out with yourself in mirrors, you could put headphones in.

And there’s public transportation, because we all gotta go places.

And there’s prayer and meditation.
No one will think less if you’re hanging with your breath seeking peace and salvation.

Start simple. Things you may have previously based on your avoid being alone principals.

The lunch counter. Where you will be surrounded by chow-downers.
Employees who only have an hour and their spouses work across town
and so they — like you — will be alone.

Resist the urge to hang out with your cell phone.

When you are comfortable with eat lunch and run, take yourself out for dinner.
A restaurant with linen and silverware.
You’re no less intriguing a person when you’re eating solo dessert
to cleaning the whipped cream from the dish with your finger.
In fact some people at full tables will wish they were where you were.

Go to the movies. Where it is dark and soothing.
Alone in your seat amidst a fleeting community.
And then, take yourself out dancing to a club where no one knows you.
Stand on the outside of the floor till the lights convince you more and more and the music shows you. Dance like no one’s watching…because, they’re probably not.
And, if they are, assume it is with best of human intentions.
The way bodies move genuinely to beats is, after all, gorgeous and affecting.
Dance until you’re sweating, and beads of perspiration remind you of life’s best things,
down your back like a brook of blessings.

Go to the woods alone, and the trees and squirrels will watch for you.
Go to an unfamiliar city, roam the streets,
there are always statues to talk to and benches made for sitting
give strangers a shared existence if only for a minute and these moments can be so uplifting
and the conversations you get in by sitting alone on benches
might’ve never happened had you not been there by yourself.

Society is afraid of alonedom, like lonely hearts are wasting away in basements,
like people must have problems if, after a while, nobody is dating them.
But lonely is a freedom that breaths easy and weightless and lonely is healing if you make it.

You could stand, swathed by groups and mobs or hold hands with your partner,
look both further and farther for the endless quest for company.
But no one’s in your head and by the time you translate your thoughts,
some essence of them may be lost or perhaps it is just kept.

Perhaps in the interest of loving oneself,
Perhaps all those sappy slogans from preschool over to high school’s groaning
were tokens for holding the lonely at bay.
Cuz if you’re happy in your head than solitude is blessed and alone is okay.

It’s okay if no one believes like you.
All experience is unique, no one has the same synapses, can’t think like you,
for this be relieved, keeps things interesting life’s magic things in reach.

And it doesn’t mean you’re not connected, that communities not present,
just take the perspective you get from being one person in one head and feel the effects of it.
Take silence and respect it. if you have an art that needs a practice, stop neglecting it.
If your family doesn’t get you, or religious sect is not meant for you, don’t obsess about it.

You could be in an instant surrounded if you needed it
If your heart is bleeding make the best of it.
There is heat in freezing, be a testament.

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Written by SIXPEGS

April 26, 2011 at 11:46 am

Posted in Likes.

9 Responses

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  1. What a lifting read. :) Definitely alright to be alone, alone shouldn’t equate to loneliness, or vice versa. Stay strong, or rather, stay happy peggy! :)

    Jocelyn Teo

    April 27, 2011 at 9:43 am

  2. seriously don’t wish to see you so depressed.
    cheer up girl!

    pei

    April 28, 2011 at 3:06 am

  3. once a time
    I am well acquainted with fame.
    at least i wished to be.
    i wished to be surrounded by friends
    and of cos friends-to-be.
    I thought that life should go on like a busy bee.

    and then one day someone free
    came to my little tree.
    I guess it felt good that a pretty bird,
    chose me and yes it became we.

    but winter comes and the bird leaves.
    Now without the songs with the wind.
    It suddenly feels really very cold
    and really very empty.

    Everyone says winter is pretty
    oh, how wrong they could be.
    because when winter comes and all is left
    is me and only me.
    they forgot it could be pain,
    they forgot it could get mean.
    they forgot that
    they have their little piece of summer and spring.

    But blame them not you see.
    For they can never really understand,
    unless they are as lonely as we.

    But I promise you.
    that spring will always come by you’ll see.
    and see through us till flowers bloom again.
    along with many bees.
    this time with wisdom you shall be.
    learn and guard yourself,
    don’t let anyone land so free.

    so now cry and tear and go destroying.
    for thats how winter should be.
    only through letting a broken heart bleed
    then will you grow and bloom afree.
    you have come a long way as we,
    now learn to part. rmber you were glorious without we.
    what makes u think its going to be creepy?
    within me and all that cares for thee,
    wishes for spring will come n it will be.

    – PS:
    I really like your blog and I don’t want to probe into anything but write a poem back to yours.
    I believe in a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
    and it will never happen if it doesn’t rain. ;)

    sam

    April 28, 2011 at 5:50 pm

  4. Peg, practise yoga is one of my best way to be alone. Is the best time you communicate with your inner-self.

    Knowing you have subscribed the same yoga center as me from one of your blog. :)

    Came

    April 29, 2011 at 3:59 pm

  5. if you love each other then be together :)

    jassy

    April 29, 2011 at 11:15 pm

  6. I posted this a while back as well… :) we all do need to learn how to be alone and be okay with it

    Kelly

    April 30, 2011 at 1:38 pm

  7. You’ll.Be.Back. xo

    Shinna

    May 3, 2011 at 12:15 am

  8. I’m glad those who liked the video enjoyed this post.
    Sam, I really love the poem you wrote. Thanks a lot. :)

    Came – I will keep going yoga. See you around at PURE!

    And yes Shinna, I’ll be back.

    sixpegs

    May 12, 2011 at 11:36 am

  9. I’m gg thru the same thing as you too and its utterly painful. I feel you peggy, I understand exactly how you feel.Like what you said, love is so short, forgetting is so long :(

    mikki

    May 14, 2011 at 2:35 am


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