s i x p e g s

fashion, music, fun, love and everything about my life.

Guest Blogger Michelle: The one with freakishly straight teeth

with 3 comments

Let me start off by saying, Colin, you are very shameless. Plugging KING KONG JANE like that just because you are the oh-so-famous LEAD SINGER of the band who happened to have won countless accolades and groupies. Whereas I would never promote what is close to my heart, which is this awesome site called JOBSCENTRAL, SINGAPORE’S COOLEST JOB PORTAL BEACUSE WE ALL WORK THERE AND WE SAID SO.

Tsk tsk tsk, Colin.

Now, like Colin, I have mulled over what to write. I have never been a guest blogger, more like an accidental one that sporadically spews rants, thoughts and confessions, often in poetic prose to imaginery readers. My social ineptness extends towards my blog.

Here are the topics I considered:

  1.  Pick on Peggy’s writing, point out grammatical/factual flaws and other faux pas.
  2. Create an anti-Sixpegs post – left-aligned, filled with intellectual ramblings, strictly no photos and dull colors.
  3. Claim full credit for Peggy’s popular post of 100 things about her.

However,  I wouldn’t because:

  1. I would be messing with her fan base which may include well-dressed loanshark runners and spiffy gangsters.
  2. I’ll just be recreating own blog here.
  3. To be fair, her 100 list is so much more happening than mine. Pierced tongue leh.

And so, I shall talk about myself.

I am Michelle and it’s absolutely true I have naturally straight teeth. I also have the ability to grow double eyelids, having been born with singles but somehow grew the double ones later in life. I have to say the doubling did not happen together so there was an awkward stage where I looked like I have a perpetual wink, with one eye larger than the other.

It’s also true that I have extremely short but very thick eyelashes. While stubby and stout, they still try their best to curl at the tips. Mascara has no effect on me.

I am addicted to the smell of J&J baby lotion because it makes me happy. It reminds me of my childhood and late grandmother. Days where I could do no wrong because I was the favorite grandchild and spent days just playing. I also like the smell of the brown oil called Ru Yi Yu when rubbed on my tummy.

I have 2 cats. The older one is a black and white tuxedo called Spyder. Spyder is an American cat, found when I was living in California in 2002. He is a Brat. He is so bratty that it warrants a capital B. He takes himself very seriously and has successfully gotten me very well-trained. He always get the food and treats he wants, even if I have to buy them from Hong Kong. He always gets the best couch in the room and you will scratch/feed him when he wants you to. Or else. Spyder is a fantastic hunter. Many mornings, at my door step lies the mutilated remains of birds, bats, geckos and other unidentified creatures, while he lounges nearby pretending not to be interested or offended at the muffled screams of horror from me. On the bright side, there are no cockcroaches in the house. Sadly though, all the lizards have no tails.

The younger cat is a ginger called Max. I found him abandoned in a box at Boat Quay back in 2004. I wanted to call him Penny (after that pub) but unfortunately he was a boy. Max is not very bright. I call him Bambi behind his back. He is cute, he is affectionate and furry but he is also clumsy, a klutz and very clueless. Unlike Spyder, the only time he caught a decent prey (that is not a slow-moving insect) was when he stole my neighbour’s fat goldfishes. He only managed to swipe them because the fish bowl was cracked resulting in low water levels and exposed fins. I had to apologise very profusely because Max went around the neighbourhood with gold-tinged lips and whiskers. There was no wriggle room with evidence like that.

I also have 3 nephews – Kang (aged 8), Kai (7) and Kun (2). They love me and I love them. If you ever see someone,  say at the malls, with 3 noisy boys, one hanging onto each of her arms and the third hugging her knees, that could be me. If the person looks harassed, tired and periodically shouts to shut them up in a high-strung voice, that is probably me.

Last… Obligatory Say-Nice-Things Section About Sixpegs at Work

In the interest of balanced writing…

  1. Peggy single-handedly raised the average chio-ness score of the company while decreasing the average punctuality rate.
  2. Peggy is great at generating creative ideas for marketing but is also responsible for the cha-bor-fication of JobsCentral campaigns.
  3. Peggy’s penchant for character dressed-ups inspired us to try harder but also resulted in photos that may not be so amusing to future employers. Hint: gahment service
  4. Peggy has no airs about her and it’s a lot of fun to have her around. No counter-balance needed here.

Ok, I lied about not doing the left-aligned post part to irritate her. GO JOBSCENTRAL! YAY!!

 

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Written by SIXPEGS

December 15, 2010 at 10:01 pm

Posted in Rambles

3 Responses

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  1. hi michelle, great post! love your style of writing.
    do you have a blog?

    jacinta

    December 17, 2010 at 5:25 pm

    • Jacinta – yes michelle has a blog! (Oh no mimi, you’re stealing my readers already!!!)

      sixpegs

      December 17, 2010 at 7:45 pm

  2. Hi Jacinta, thanks for the compliment, it just added an inch to my already big head. Courtesy of Peggy, that was my 1 min of fame in my mundane existence as absolute dictator of marketing in JOBSCENTRAL (damn, why cannot make bold in comments??). I had a lot of fun writing it!

    I do have a personal blog but it’s kinda private with plenty of gory details which in the interest of public decency, should remain private. That was a round-about and atas way of saying “sorry, can’t give you blog address unless we share some blood bond or if my cats really like you”. But really appreciate you even asking. Heh.

    Oi! Peggy, I hate the nick “mimi”, it reminds me of some small cute white fluffy mammal! Argh!

    Michelle

    December 17, 2010 at 10:26 pm


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