s i x p e g s

fashion, music, fun, love and everything about my life.

影子

with 4 comments

上帝创造人类的时候,各给了我们可以无私付出˛溺爱的力量。
给了我们能够 “有情饮水饱” 的能力,
给了我们七情六欲,
给了我们想要分享爱的冲动,
但也在我们原本美丽的灵魂里,不小心遗留下了嫉妒˛悔恨˛愤怒等瑕疵。
也就因为这些不完美,造就了天使与人类之间的区别。

我不是天使。

此时此刻的我,因为嫉妒心的作祟,
无意中发现自己又开始渐渐的坠入那个充满疑惑和自怜的领域。
一整个上午瘫在床上发呆,四肢无力,
外表看起来悠哉闲哉的我,脑子里却思潮起伏不断,
一波一波地重复播放着自己最害怕看见的画面。
越是试着不去想,心里越是被那悲伤的画面折腾。

我真的不完美。

不完美之处在于我那吹毛求疵的个性。
原本自己拥有美好的一切,却偏偏要去挑毛病,找罪受。
说得白一点,就是自己贱。
回头想想,其实无知也不见得是一种愚昧。
有时候,当当井低蛙活在自己的小框框里,也未尝不是一件好事。
若什么事都持着探险家的精神去追根究底,最后跌得一鼻子灰的,
往往还是自己。

我已经忘了我是什么时候开始变得像现在那么不容易相信别人。

信任需要长年的建立,却能在转眼瞬间被毁于一旦。
而在那条重建彼此信心的漫漫长路上,总是布满了荆棘。
要找回原有的那份信任,真的一点也不容易。

是不是得不到的东西永远都会因为它的虚无缥缈而显得更有魅力?

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Written by SIXPEGS

November 25, 2009 at 6:24 pm

Posted in Rambles

4 Responses

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  1. Firstly, i can’t believe your chinese is so ‘powerful’! Secondly, just look at the great results you’ve created on your own and with other people (based on what i’ve just read in your blog these 2-3 times)!! Recognise and acknowledge that. Focusing on the hurt that people have caused you sometimes means denying the love of someone who cares for you; if you accept that love then you would implicitly know that they want to see you happy and cease to dwell in suffering. Thirdly, which i also have an issue with, is trust and risking with someone new. But compare a frog and a bird, being a frog is safe but it’s also boring, whereas the bird gets to experience both the highs and lows!

    I like your honesty and authenticity in this blog :D your personal thoughts and meaningful posts really make a positive impact, like the one on pakistani women. keep it up!

    leanne

    December 2, 2009 at 3:14 am

    • :) thank you leanne, for your comment.
      you’re the only person who commented on this post anyway. haa.
      but yeah, thanks again.

      sixpegs

      December 2, 2009 at 4:29 am

  2. u write so well, totally love this post.
    im like u, having trust issues as well. i can never trust someone again if he/she ever betrayed my trust.
    it’s like a forever flawed relationship.
    it’s true that if i never get over what has happened, i’ll be denying their love.
    but for now, i just want to protect myself…

    Pearlyn

    December 2, 2009 at 10:10 am

    • i think that’s a problem everyone will face ultimately.
      especially in those who had trust issues in previous relationships before.
      trust really need a lot of time to be built up.
      try, dear pearlyn! :)

      sixpegs

      January 17, 2010 at 5:28 am


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