s i x p e g s

fashion, music, fun, love and everything about my life.

Que Sara Sara. Whatever will be, will be.

with 107 comments

It’s another one of those nights when you lay in bed,
but never seem to be able to get to sleep no matter how hard you try.
You keep trying to tell yourself “Don’t think about anything and to get to sleep!”
And somehow, you will still end up thinking about how to stop your mind from wandering.

It is a phase everyone goes through I guess.
Thinking about everything in life.
Thinking about how your life is going to be in future.
Thinking about what to do to make your parents proud.
Thinking about all the disappointments you have experienced before.
Thinking about what the future holds.

Why is everybody in a rat race?
Why am I doing what I’m doing everyday.
Who am I slogging for?

I also think about what I want to be in future.
What is stopping me?
And at that instance, I’ll realize… that I don’t even know what I want to become.

Just two days ago, someone asked me what I plan to do after graduation.
Be a model? (No, I’m not THAT good. Unrealistic.)
Be an actress? (Obviously no, I’m apparently not good enough too.)
Be an engineer? (What do you think? Do I look like I’ll love a career building bridges?)
Be a banker? (Good money. But I’m an civil engineer-to-be. Why would they hire me?)
Be a teacher? (Reasonable. But that would often imply that I’ll be a teacher for life.)
Be a flight attendant? (Nope. Reminder: I HAVE TATTOOS!)
Be a tai-tai? (peeps at miumiu)

Honestly, can someone tell me.
What will I be?

Every time when someone asks me when I’ll be graduating,
I’ll feel extremely depressed.
Because I won’t be graduating with my batch.
Simple reason – because I cannot finish clearing my modules.
I don’t feel depressed because it shows that I’m not academically inclined or whatever so.

But because I feel that I have disappointed my parents.
All that hard work to put me through university.
Scrimping and saving, and clearing up their CPF balance to make up for the tuition fees.
I can still remember the first thing my mother said when I told her that I’m being retained.
She said, “Uh. Then the next school fees how?”

I hate it when people tell me :
“It’s okay. There are so many other students who cannot graduate on time.”
“Doesn’t matter. Just study harder next semester.”

I know they’re saying it just to make me feel better.
But it really makes me wonder if they really mean it.
Or are they secretly mocking at me behind that mask.
I could be just thinking too much.
But now I’m telling you. And for goodness sake. Stop asking.
And stop consoling me.
Because I asked for it. And I know it.

I can still remember stumbling upon some random forum once.
The people in that forum are from NTU and they were discussing about me.
One of the replies referred to me as someone who can’t study for nuts.
And that I keep failing my subjects.

Seriously.
I really HATE what I’m studying SO SO SO MUCH.
I have had thoughts of giving up on my studies for so many times.
But I gritted my teeth and told myself, “PRESS ON!”
And it just crushes me so badly to hear comments like that.
I know ultimately, everything boils down to me and my determination.
I’m not the only girl in civil engineering who hates numbers, physics and confusing tables.
The simple truth is that I was not as hardworking as the others.

After harping so much about my tragic life in NTU,
I know the only logical thing for me to do – is to continue slogging here til’ graduation.
Sometimes I wonder why do thousands of people read my blog each day.
You like me act silly before the camera?
You like to see my clubbing photographs?
You enjoy peeking at my beautiful girlfriends?
You are curious about my life?
You envy the kind of life I have?
You find joy in reading all my happy blog entries?
Or is it just because you got too much time to spare before the computer screen?

If it is because you find joy here, then I’m really sorry this entry have to come.

And if you envy the kind of life I have, there is really no point.
Because I have my troubles and problems – just like you.
I’m just another person who has occasional pimples on my cheeks and cellulite on my buttocks.
I quarrel with my parents.
And I have fights with my boyfriend too.
There are also times when I cry helplessly before bed because I don’t know what to do.
Like you, I also wish for a higher nose bridge, bigger boobs, or perhaps nicer teeth.
I also want to be even taller.
I am not rich. And there are days when I only have $5 in my bank account.
I am not smart too.
You may think that I’m being greedy.
Because I already have a lot in my life that others don’t even have.

But if you look at the things you have too,
you’ll probably think that you’re being very greedy as well.

How much is enough?
What is good enough?
How rich do we want to get?
How smart are we supposed to be?

I am really SO SICK of being not-good-enough for everybody!

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Written by SIXPEGS

April 2, 2008 at 2:23 am

Posted in Uncategorized

107 Responses

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  1. Hi Peggy,

    Ultimately, you live for yourself, as selfish as this statement sounds. Come another few years, you’ll realize that what matters most in life is health and happiness (cliched, I know, but how damn true). Trust me.

    Then again, there is always a stigma in society which depecits how one should be. So I say, live for yourself. Destiny has a big part to play in one’s life.

    What ever happens, happens for a reason.

    Que sara sara, indeed.

    L

    April 2, 2008 at 3:16 am

  2. as you said its just another one of those nights…
    grit your teeth and press on
    tomorrow will be a better day
    cheer up

    AvidPicViewer

    April 2, 2008 at 3:19 am

  3. i read your blog because that’s the best way i stay in touch with your life from faraway switzerland and of course to oogle at my beloved SINful PIE… (if u get my pun)

    dimpled jason

    April 2, 2008 at 3:38 am

  4. Recently I read a book….

    Pegs… ask yourself do you fear death 1st?

    I don’t, because i am doing what I want to do everyday….

    Ppl fear death because they are afraid when they die, they have yet to do so much that they want to do….

    Now ask yourself, do you fear death?

    Your parents didn’t go thru all for that degree…
    they go thru all to see u get that degree so you will have a good life in future…
    Degree is just the process….
    Happiness is the result they desire for all that they done for you….

    Repay them, by staying happy….

    Cheers!

    xun

    April 2, 2008 at 4:15 am

  5. hey peg, i love reading your blog because i like the way you write :)
    coincidently, i’m going thru the same thing as u. got retained, coz i failed 2modules. and knowing that my peers hv all started working makes things makes me feel bad. esp when ppl ask me when am i graduating? and when they knw i’ve got yet another yr to go, they were like “WAT! why r u taking so long??”
    and it makes things worse, like u, i do not knw wat i wan to do. i hate wat i’m studying. did engineering as well in the past and hate it. took so many turns in life, which i secretly regretted.
    but hey! when i knw ur doing a course u dun like, yet u pressed on, u kinda inspire me to do the same :) so babe! ur not alone!dun give up! :)

    Jolyn

    April 2, 2008 at 4:39 am

  6. cest’ la vie
    :)
    do whatever makes you happy!

    rykiel

    April 2, 2008 at 8:20 am

  7. Although you face the same problems as us the other girls do..
    But seriously, i think you are pretty.=)

    Anyway, just press on k. Jia you and work hard!

    hanie

    April 2, 2008 at 8:40 am

  8. Hi
    indeed, we cannot make everyone happy about us and we cannot make ourself be happy with the whole world, so, why make urself unhappy in the first place silly? Everytime you wonder too much, be sure that theres another someone who is on the same thought as you. Sleep and get over, Its always whats in the mind…

    btw, reading your blog deosnt have to have any reason sometimes, you just read =) many things dun come with reasons too right?

    A

    April 2, 2008 at 9:11 am

  9. i’m sure you’ll feel better when u wake up! i do :)

    and you’re good enough for miumiu, your friends and family, evidently!

    dreamy

    April 2, 2008 at 10:03 am

  10. i read your blog becos u speak your mind…not pretencious….a little silly……

    can u see? can u see…..? can u see……? yes, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel.

    Sophia

    April 2, 2008 at 10:10 am

  11. hi peggy, i’m glad u didn’t privatise this post.

    u live for a reason, don’t brood over what had happened! and remember no one is to judge u for who u are.

    cheer up :)

    jer

    April 2, 2008 at 10:11 am

  12. This isn’t the peggy I know. :( I read your blog only because I look up to you! TELL ME, how many people actually got through the auctions of newpaper’s new face? ( NOT ME FOR SURE)

    I only saw you once, and it was just a tad glimpse during those auditions days. (and I was telling my friends that you’ll definitely get chosen because of your spunky hairdo and the fact that you’re a good looker)

    Don’t push yourself too hard. I’ve a friend who is studying in engineering as well and she’s been telling us how hard the modules are, etc.

    If you’re that dumb, you won’t be chosen to be the top 5 finalist in msu!!

    To add, if you’re so troubled about be held back for a year, I’m far more worst than you.

    Chin up okay. Don’t be disappointed anymore. You’ve got so much more in life to be contented with. hughug

    cheryl

    April 2, 2008 at 10:19 am

  13. hey pegs. i’ve been reading ur blog because u’re real, not like those hardcore bloggers out there blogging their happy lives away. i know how it feels to hate engineering, cos i’m in the same boat as u. same scenario, same feelings. being stuck in the bottom of the class even though we’ve tried so hard at every test/exam/project/essay. just hang in there and know that ur worth is not reliant on how good ur grades are, but who u are. jiayou! :)

    angie

    April 2, 2008 at 10:50 am

  14. cheer up girl…i read your blog by chance..cause i too free while doing attachment..haha..but i continue to read it cause i find it intersting…actually there is no definite reason for people to read your blog also..and different people got different reason also..so no need to think of this things…haha..Life is like this one…you tend to think much cause you care about yourself..you are scare also..it is not a bad thing to think cos you are keep reminding yourself alot of thing is not up to standard and ownself is asking for more as not “Man Zhu” yet..and wanting for a better life or something…about studies it really depend on ppl one…so dont mind about wad other said…they are good in studies only prove they can study only..nothing big deal one…so many ppl in the world is studying so they arent wat great..haha…maybe their personal life is a mess or they very hate themself..haha..no one know…so dont compare is the best la…and if everyone so care about wad others is saying then life will be miserable…listen to wad u think is right only..those lamer wan say wat just let them..it is fine one…so do stay happy..Cheer up…smile more..life will be better somehow…good luck to you..

    Devil

    April 2, 2008 at 11:39 am

  15. in the end, this blog is about you and you alone. you don’t have to blog for anyone to make them happy or retort any nasty comments. you can’t control who reads your blog or what is the reason why they are hitting your blog, so why bother wondering? if you like it, continue blogging. if not, make it private or close it down forever.

    don’t get so affected by everything that’s going on. like you said, it will only be a phase. and every phase of life is filled with different challenges that we’ve to overcome.

    good luck.

    jl

    April 2, 2008 at 11:53 am

  16. hey girl, cheer up! everyday’s a new day and tomorrow Will be a better day. hugs

    evangeline

    April 2, 2008 at 12:00 pm

  17. i know how ur feeling. i took a semester of uni cos i was doing a 5year double degree course. everyone in my batch has graduated. but i dont care. because i needed a break. i need to breathe to do stupid things u can do only when your young.

    in the end its YOUR life and Your experiences and memories. you dont have to answer to anyyone else.

    just be happy.

    Veritynesse

    April 2, 2008 at 12:13 pm

  18. Jiayou!
    Don’t think so much, just persevere on okay (: You have your family, friends and boyfriend to turn to whenever you need a listening ear… Don’t let what other people say get you down. I’m certain that once you put your mind to it, things will be better.
    S-M-I-L-E!

    d

    April 2, 2008 at 12:37 pm

  19. Hi, I’m one of the many thousands who don’t know who you are yet read your blog. I enjoy reading the entries you pen because your entries feel real and down to earth. (but I’ll never know right? hee) But! This is the reason why i like to read it though – it feels real and not some overly exeggerated stuff.

    Don’t give up! =)

    Alexis

    April 2, 2008 at 1:16 pm

  20. knowin’ what you cannot do will undoubtedly make you feel weak.

    i always wonder how would it be like to fight so hard in this life and realise after that we didnt even get time to sniff flowers on the side. it’s sad that way.

    but the many interesting and alluring people i know and have do not know what they want to be when they’re 23. and the most catchy ones are 40 and still dont. but they give and receive love endlessly.

    pegs, life cannot be measured by how it’s supposed to be, but how you want it to be. if you want it normal, maybe mundane like everyone else then i dont think this entry is called fer. but the point is you dont. hence you struggle.

    i read your blog because there are pinches in your life that i do not have and sometimes i wonder how sweet it would be to maybe, have it. but at some point, i figured you might have wanted to be me too.

    no one is gonna tell you that you are dumb [not that you are] in your face, but sometimes these comments rushes in from nooks and crannies, we have to be ready fer it. but not be desperate to justify otherwise. we all pick bones now dont we?

    joy and sorrows comes in balances. after all, peggy will be peggy. everyone wants to be like peggy and peggy wants to be like everyone else.

    who’s good enuff?

    girl. live this life hard and fast. you cannot win em’ all but while you try to, you can sing and waltz to the littlest tune… finding moments. what’s yours?

    j

    April 2, 2008 at 2:04 pm

  21. you are who you are. don’t care what others say/think about you. you can’t please everyone.

    girl, hang on there ok?? just hang on there.

    granger

    April 2, 2008 at 2:14 pm

  22. remember what i told u last night?
    nuff said.

    love. =)

    keys

    April 2, 2008 at 3:33 pm

  23. I like reading your blog, because U’re real. And I’ve been having such nights for yrs too.

    I’ve been caught in my own maze, struggling to get out but unable to. Maybe I’m not trying hard enough, maybe all I need is a hand to pull me out. Maybe, I simply have to learn to live for myself.

    But at least for now, we’re able to register what problem we’ve to deal with. And that’s already a start.

    Keep trying babe, cos I’m rooting for u too :)

    Passer Queuer

    April 2, 2008 at 3:35 pm

  24. Hi Peggy,

    I sorta sympathize with your plight you are facing as i face the same situation while i was schooling. CPF loan issues with parents/ hating the subjects I study/as well as thinking of which industry i should enter or just follow my passion. I guess everything will be better aft u finish your studies like I did. By then, you can have a clearer picture of what you actually wanted. You are still young and you’ve got much more opportunities out there than many other ppl. So fret not and stay positive. *Ps: this is the first time in the past few mths (as your reader) have i seen u posted such negative thoughts in your blog.. hope you can continue with your cheery posts soon :)

    Lionel

    lionel

    April 2, 2008 at 5:43 pm

  25. hiya, i think it all boils down to the definition of perfection. thats why everyone’s unique and different. our imperfections will complement each other’s to make it a lil more perfect.

    i like reading your entries cos they intrigue my thoughts sometimes and keep me updated with whats going on in sg.

    just before u think i’m a stalker, i chanced upon ur site from sin guan(samantha).

    cheer up! life’s too short to be living for someone else.

    xinyu

    April 2, 2008 at 7:20 pm

  26. Hi peggy, this entry seems to be dedicated for me. School is hell for me… I am so much older than my mates, and people my age are already striving in their career. (and I do wonder if others are mocking at me as well) Many more rants still… however, I’m gonna wish we’ll be blessed to move out of this horrible phase of life SOON! Hang in there, pretty!

    TT

    April 2, 2008 at 7:24 pm

  27. i think this is like the most genuine entry ever that i’ve read from you. mostly, your blog is fluff and silly posing in front of the cam and a place where i visit when i have nothing better to do and want to gawk at your pretty gurlies.

    but oh well, we all hide behind facades and i’m glad you dropped yours, if only once, so that we can catch a glimpse of that bit called “insecurity” lurking in each and everyone of us.

    welcome to the club.

    J

    April 2, 2008 at 8:26 pm

  28. I dont know if this helps, and i dont know if others have written the same stuff. but i am one of the thousands who read ur blog. yes, becoz sometimes i do envy the life u have, u seem to always be so cheery and having so much fun. but the main reason why i read it, is coz u’re so real and so genuine. and u dun put up a facade even tho u noe thousands of ppl are reading it. and this. is the true gem in u. =)

    cloudz

    April 2, 2008 at 8:31 pm

  29. Hi my dear..

    I read your blog simply because u are always my friend. =)

    There are times when we feel low and depressed. Cry all you want and then moved on. It is impossible that I understand ur situation completely, however I’m facing the same issue for my school fees too.

    Life is not perfect, that’s why life is challenging. I believe you can do it. Jiayou! =)

    Shan

    April 2, 2008 at 9:13 pm

  30. i do go through that and do cry helplessly like u do. at the end of the rain… there’s always sunshine or even a rainbow to cheer off.

    look on the bright side …always look on the bright side of life ….

    gin gin

    April 2, 2008 at 9:15 pm

  31. And, I like reading ur blog because you are straight foward and u keep it real. and i like that quality. U are dare to be different (i feel). For that, you are good enough. Ultimately, you are only countable to yourself. All the best to u. The situation sucks, but make lemonade!

    mosh

    April 2, 2008 at 9:16 pm

  32. Hey babe, think we kinda walked past each other a while ago outside adm….and you looked so sad. Just wanted to tell you, like the many others who have posted here…the reason why people read your blog etc is that you are real.

    I for one, am as optimistic and happy going as you are perhaps, but I do have to admit that there are times, just certain times when I am down, reading your blog, and sensing your positivity, optimism towards life that somehow brightens me up sometimes. A degree is a degree; and parents will be parents. No matter how hard we work for them, our ideals may just never seem to meet theirs. I face that problem of not being the perfect daughter as well…even when it comes to matters of the heart, my mum had wanted to intervene into my relationship just because a certain fortune teller said this and that…what I am saying is, problems in life is part and parcel of growing up…and the pain and disappointment one feels as a child can never be surmounted. It isn’t necessarily a bad idea to retain I tell you. My mum didn’t allow me to retain in JC…when I realised I totally couldn’t do Science, and I screwed up big time for my A levels. Thank god somehow I managed to get into NTU, and I am happily pursuing the Arts…something they never wanted me to ever venture into. Moreso…interestingly enough I actually intend to delay my own graduation (end of 2010 instead of mid 2010) in view of the upcoming economic crisis…so whose to say retention’s necessarily bad huh? And to say you can’t study…you must look at where you are now – local Uni undergraduate, final year leh. If you truly can’t study…you wouldn’t even have made it to Uni or rather, you’d been kicked out long ago, right babe?

    Ultimately, really, Peggy dear…you live for yourself. There’s too many tribulations, too many ordeals, distractions, temptations, factors, rubbish, noise in the lives of ours that…you will eventually know…and should question yourself…deep down there…what truly matters? Those that you have within your heart, within your soul are the things, the people, the ones that matters. As for meeting expectations, and judgements of ‘not-good-enough’ness…only you truly know whether you have given in your best. I don’t know about you, but for me, as long as I have given in my best for the things I so believe in or want to meet expectations…its the most I can do, cause I have already then put in my all…hopefully it being a success.

    You’re have an amazing stage persona, I reckon…for having only seen you on stage once for Hey! G finals. And judging from the way you potray yourself to public view…there is certainly something in you that sparkles. Don’t give in to criticisms from people that you know you don’t even really bother about. Also, always do remember the cliche that Nobody is Perfect…we are all humans, and hence do we flaw.

    Anyway, I hope I am making sense here in this loong comment…and sincerely hope you’d be able to find your light in the dark days of the abyss soon.

    -hugs-

    aly

    April 2, 2008 at 9:17 pm

  33. You have to win this battle with yourself alone…

    jH

    April 2, 2008 at 9:30 pm

  34. Hi Peggy!

    You don’t have to be a good-enough for everyone person. That’s an extremely tiring job!

    Degree isn’t everything. It’s just a stepping stone into the working society. A civil engineer can be a banker too! My bf is an architect graduate and he’s working in Ministry of Trade and Industry. There’s no restrictions. Serious!!

    You are always so lively and cheery, which is why people love u! You can always try out at Mediacorp. If don’t make it, you can always move on to other things. Besides, you don’t have to be the best to survive in the industry.

    Or since you enjoy photography so much, why not take up courses outside after your graduation? I’m sure your modelling jobs are able to feed you well.

    Opportunities will come along the way, as long as you continue the road. (^_^)Y

    Jeanine

    April 2, 2008 at 9:36 pm

  35. just like what almost everyone says, i enjoy reading your blog because it’s real… it’s something that everyone can relate to ( wldn’t mention names but there are many others out there who just like to blog about their apparent fabulous and glamourous lifestyles) … but yours is down-to-earth and u write about some of your confused phases of life too. things that people can relate to and share. I believe that’s what that makes your blog intriguing and appealing to your readers.

    I can’t say much but I guess everyone does reach a point in their lives where they feel lost and confused – a lack of direction or goal that they would like to stir their life towards. I felt likewise before too – would wonder why others seem to have their pieces of life fit in so nicely and I just cant seem to be as driven or motivated as them? even the most determined person would feel lost at times.

    occasionally, we inevitably feel the pressure to need to be the ‘good-enough for everyone’ person and when we feel like we dont live up to the expectation, we would be a great disappointment to others. it can be exhausting i know. but we have to be strong and tell ourselves that others’ opinions should not matter (its hard) but who are they to judge? are they even in the position to make so much remarks and judgements about us? like what so many others have mentioned, ultimately- if we dont live for ourselves, then whats the purpose of our lives? we should not live our live for others..

    la vita e bella – u know that it will become better soon.

    blisschic

    April 2, 2008 at 9:56 pm

  36. ive been your avid reader! alwys inspired by your blog entries! :)

    loovee your bubbly way of blogging entries ! cheerup babe! im sure there’s alwys a rainbow after the rain.

    Passerby

    April 2, 2008 at 10:01 pm

  37. Have been reading your blog for a while now…and I understand totally what you are going through. I had that feeling when I was doing my Comp Sci degree, didn’t really enjoy it as a job but it was great as a hobby.

    I graduated and just looked out for opportunity. Here I am, working in a bank (not sales or IT related work) for a couple of years already. So don’t limit yourself to just engineering work, look around, ask, try, etc.

    Like my mother always say “Don’t try, Don’t Know”. Good luck and live life….

    beavc

    April 2, 2008 at 10:09 pm

  38. Pegs, no matter what u write in your blog, I still like you for who you are! U inspire in many ways… :) Cheers…

    eunice

    April 2, 2008 at 10:27 pm

  39. Hi Peggy!

    Like what many others has said, i enjoyed reading your blog because you are down to earth and give me a very geniune feeling! I love the way you write ~

    Well..You are a normal human too..u need not only share your happy and cheery side with us..but also your down and unhappy side..We may not be able to help u…but we can Cheer u on! =)

    No matter how bad you think u are, i still think you excude a sense of confidence, like when u take part in competitions! u have the X factor…just very different from other girls…

    So love urself like how others love u ..rem..

    “It is not in the stars to hold our destiny but in ourselves” ~ William Shakespeare

    =)

    Leen

    April 2, 2008 at 11:15 pm

  40. i like reading ur blog cos u are who u are and i like u as peggy! =)

    cindy

    April 2, 2008 at 11:21 pm

  41. Good days.. Bad days.. I know you are feeling very low right now. But believe me, you will get over it. I like reading your blog because of who you are. I dont care whether you are poor or rich, ugly or pretty.. I feel happy reading your blog and sometimes I wish you were mine friend. Nahh.. Anyway, stay strong and be positive like how you always are. Take care.

    Annie

    April 2, 2008 at 11:28 pm

  42. I know what it feels like to have gone through retaining in school. I know what it feels like to have friends tell you “its okay” when you know that “its not okay”. I know what it feels like to hate studying whatever you’re studying currently eg. maths, physics, science.. I know what it feels like to know that you really tried to work hard but still end up failing.

    It sucks, but life goes on. People can’t help but tell you “its okay” because that’s the only way they can show that they care for you, whether you see it that way or not.

    Repeating one more year in college was really hard for me, but i got through it eventually. It was hard to face the embarrassment and pressure but i’m sure you’ll be capable of dealing with it :)

    Its okay to feel down, we all have our down times for we’re only human. Don’t let it get to you. Recover soon enough and start gaining a foothold over your life. You’re young, you still have time, you still have the years. Don’t give up! :))

    auf

    April 3, 2008 at 12:01 am

  43. hey babe!

    i don’t need to say much cos… look at just the number of people supporting and encouraging you! haha.

    well, people b*tch all the time and i guess ourselves, as girls may be prone to it. (i’m guilty as charged to some extent. haha.) but look at it as a good thing! you’re so popular, no doubt that there are all these people jealous/envious of you and they say nasty things. that’s cos you’ve many things (like beauty, friends and families and blog readers who love you so much!) and you”ve accomplished so many things that most others have not even done (like appearing on TV ads, mags and so on)!

    i guess now it’s one of those feel down, emo days eh? but the peggy chang i’ve come to know thru’ reading her blog gives me an absolute positive vibe about herself. confident and high self-esteemed. i believe you’re strong so hang in there babe! (:

    tiang

    April 3, 2008 at 12:06 am

  44. hey babe.. u sound so helpless, but u know, there are alot of people who are lost and helpless too. I am too.
    There are alot of pple who want to get into local u but cannot even make it.
    Like me, Im totally giving up on local u and I applied for SIM instead. I know of many friends around me who drop out of POLY coz they dont like what they study, they dont even have a diploma. Many others failed A’s and are retaking now… So if we think about it, we’re not that bad, are we?
    Althou it sucks to be studying what you dislike, I think u really have to just get it over and done with…get ur degree n get out of there!
    On what you wana do, I know how it feels like too coz I have NO IDEA what I want to do too… Just go after your passion and ur dreams I guess.
    Good luck and god bless!

    Audrey

    April 3, 2008 at 12:07 am

  45. As u said, u deserve this outcome since u are not as hardworking as others. Yes, u have disappointed your parents, but there’s nothing much u can do about it, except to work hard the next semester, graduate, earn, and pay them back in monetary terms, as well as showing them care and concern. Everyone makes mistakes in life, we cannot live in regret but to move on and try to rectify our mistake. U’re a strong girl. Cheer up =)

    annon

    April 3, 2008 at 12:10 am

  46. i know it’s easier said than done. It’s a really genuine post, I can feel u’re hurting.

    annon

    April 3, 2008 at 12:12 am

  47. Seriously it might sound freaky but i’m your junior in sec sch and jc and stumbled across your blog when i’m in my mid uni. i’m from private uni and have wondered what if i’ve got to local uni. It was also a phase of what to do and what not to do and what shall i be.

    And a more freaky thing i’ve somehow talked to you before. I can’t really rmb and i don’t even think you will.

    But you know what? Based on the experiences of almost all that have gone out working, a degree is NOTHING.

    NOTHING.

    It really depends on how you perform at an interview. And with your personality i’m sure you’ll end up with a good job, so long you don’t screw up your interview.

    And i’m sure all of us have problems etc. and i don’t think you have a perfect life. Why we read your blog (my girlfriends and i feel) is bcos of e nice pictures u take and although you’re not perfect, you look pretty in photos and in real life (seen u in sec sch as i said) and IT show.

    Ya, all of us want to be pretty and stuff and you want to be taller? i’m only a good 153cm. and i have to argue that 0.5cm if i have to. So be contented with 168 =)

    Ha, i took out my sec sch book n showed by gfs your photo and they didn’t laugh ha. =p

    i’ve nv commented before in your blog but i want to, this time, so to tell you to take things as it comes.

    Things will get better for you and don’t worry, really. Who knows there might be different opportunities for you when you graduate. Just that you won’t know it now.

    All e best! =)

    love,
    absolutely nice girl
    (wahahahahahaha)

    lem

    April 3, 2008 at 12:53 am

  48. hi peggy,
    been your reader for quite some time.
    honestly, i find joy in reading your blog,
    not because of the happy entries or sad entries,
    but because i find you a down-to-earth woman, everyone have got sad chapters in their storybook,
    but i believe, there are loads more happy times to come for you.
    fret not,
    look around you,
    you wont be alone,
    cos you have genuine people who cares for you,
    even if it means there’s only your parents to put into consideration.

    jia you.
    you can do it. :]

    JASMINE

    April 3, 2008 at 2:05 am

  49. pegs, hang on there.. see, so many comments.. so many ppl love you! jiayou and good luck! ;)

    Joanne

    April 3, 2008 at 2:23 am

  50. hi… do u noe where to get the gold casio watch at a cheap cheap price?

    evee

    April 3, 2008 at 2:45 am

  51. Press on. Thats the thing you can do for your parents, yourself and everyone who loves you.

    Might be tough now but this is what we have to go through before life becomes better.

    You will be fine. =)

    J*

    April 3, 2008 at 2:45 am

  52. just be what you want to be and not what others want you to be.

    ~hoots~

    owl that hoots

    April 3, 2008 at 2:56 am

  53. watch the video~
    if you have faith and hope in what you do, you will fly..like the kids in the end..

    AvidPicViewer

    April 3, 2008 at 3:42 am

  54. I understand how you feel totally. Because I hate what I’m studying alot too. But in order to please my parents, I went ahead to study what they want me to. And like you, I am trying very hard to survive until I graduate and only aim for a passing grade for each subject.

    We must not give up. No matter how hard it is, we have to perservere. You can do it if you put your mind to it, although it is very hard since you wouldn’t want to study what you hate. Good luck!

    Rui

    April 3, 2008 at 4:03 am

  55. Hey Peggy ! dont dispair ! like all others said, just keep trying hard.
    Smile !! tats the peggy tat we love!
    N i like readin ur blog gal! :)

    Jo

    April 3, 2008 at 8:38 am

  56. Yea.. Que sera sera! My comments are not gonna be like the rest-cheer up/be strong etc..cos im actually experiencing wat u would have, if u had quit CEE halfway :) Yea.. im surprise how this entry of yours is so associated with me too..

    Firstly, the title of your blog entry is so alike my name, and i always childishly call this song ‘my song!’ jus cos it sounds liek my name.. haa.

    Secondly, like you, i was in Civil in NTU.. in fact, junior to you by only a yr? Ever saw you in sch a couple of times, my fren knows u and both of u chatted before with me jus beside :)
    ‘I’m not the only girl in civil engineering who hates numbers, physics and confusing tables.’ – you are so right.. I can do chem,arts but not maths & phy! I kept failing my modules as i couldnt understand anything at all! The formulas and concepts can jus never register in my head. I not a lousy student.. I jus got myself in the wrong course -one im lousiest at & hate the most. U know what, I really hate CEE and i hate what i study! HAA. I dabao-ed 5 modules over 2 yrs before deciding to quit.. cos all modules are pre-requisites of another.. how to make it?
    But you are better.. you still hang on and try/perserve..
    Now, with sch debts to clear and only an A level cert, life’s def not easy for me.. esp when my family’s nt rich either. A pity im nt as pretty/outstanding as u so i couldnt turn to modelling to earn easy/gd money.. haa. I can only tk up an office job with a meagre salary, slowly clear my fees owed and then save up for my priv deg later on..
    I think you are lucky enough.. gd enough.. cos you have a gd bf, family, life, job etc.. (im nt so lucky) so jus get that darn deg over and done with (i totally can understand how u feel).. then you can carry on with ur amazing life :)

    Que Sera Sera

    April 3, 2008 at 9:54 am

  57. Hey Peggy, Whatever happened,it happened for a reason. A longer journey will have more scenery to view. Along the way, you will meet more people as well. Sit back and Enjoy the ride.

    I read your blog, cause i was from AMKSS, same batch as you. :) So i m sort of keeping in touch with my ex sch mate.
    Take care.

    val

    April 3, 2008 at 10:37 am

  58. Hello Peggy,

    I am 20 years old this year, after my O lvls (when i was 16 and I only have 4 credit passes) I went to MI and I spent 1 year plus doing A lvls then I found out that I din really like doing what I was doing so I quit the school and headed to a private sch to do my diploma.

    After studying for a year, failing a couple of modules my school decided to stop the whole programme due to low intake for the programme and so I don’t have a full diploma. Money was not refundable at all.

    It was my parent’s hard earned money and I felt extremely guilty towards them and like you, I really deserve it because if I had studied hard and pass all modules I could have obtained a full diploma cert. But all I can do is to tell myself that I will repay them by being filial and start working hard for everything that I do now.

    During this period, I am lost, I don’t know what I should do, how should I go on and from where? I thought real hard in what I want to do in my life, honestly, I love singing and I want to be a singer. I want to travel to third world countries and help young childrens that are homeless and abandoned.

    But all this need money and how do I get money? Join the rat race. Which is something I hate to do but I have no choice.

    You’re definitely not alone, you have a supporting family, boyfriend, wonderful girlfriends(which i really envy you so much because some friendships are really superficial) and readers like us that love you so much!

    Nobody’s life is filled with perfect moments! If not for what has happened to us we probably won’t cherish what we have. HANG IN THERE PEGGY!

    Karin

    April 3, 2008 at 11:50 am

  59. wah! so many replies! will u still read mine? *shy*
    i read ur blog becos u’re my fren! and i wan to keep to date to ur life! so when we meet again next time, no len chang also! hahaha!!
    and no. i dun mock at u. i envy u becos u’ve got the courage to do wat u like and u are willing to give up certain things to achieve wat u want.
    like u’ve said. we only live once. we are only young once. ur parents dote on u to let u do wat u like. so u’re more lucky in that sense.
    my parents will more likely say i’m jus wasting my time or watever…

    so ya. so many pple reads ur blog. confirm got some carry the ‘mocking’ mentality de. u’ve won so many things, they can only argue on the pt that, u can’t grad on time. but who cares~ we’re all the same, working n all in yrs to come!

    i study all the way till MAsters, i still dunno who i will be in future. ahhaa! itz the same lah!

    -siaowen-

    April 3, 2008 at 11:56 am

  60. just visit the arcade one free afternoon.

    hit the daytona and bash the crocs.

    big mac

    April 3, 2008 at 12:15 pm

  61. pegs.

    i dreamt of u last nite, we r in the airport, and u seems to be going overseas for study, i was sending u off, and u were very depressed and upset. and giving me a grumpy face. i have nvr seen u like this..

    then i came to ur blog… true to dreams.. hais! BUT!

    woah u got so many comments.

    & you’re loved by all of us.
    u are who u are =)

    kind nice sweet pretty who never boost like any other gals out dere, and u did not use ur looks just because u r pretty.

    you scored the basic inner beauty point =)

    dun be depressed, i was once like u, i flunk my ‘o’ level maths, and i retook that sub twice.. for consective 2 years..

    pretty embrassing to say it here, but … still i PRESS ON like u, and passed my maths, gotten into a poly…. and was working part time job, rmb u come in to MANGO SHAW a couple of yrs ago and say hi to me? =)

    now i make it here, already grad and start my full time job.

    now, give a clear thinking and plan out, what u are capable of doing (what kinds of job), or wat u are interested in?

    i suggest u to be a photographer!

    wat do u think? rmb do get affect by wat other people said. the mouths r theirs to talk, the ears r theirs to hear, and they have eyes to see wat Peggy can be.

    rock on as u used to rock, life is hard but its not the end of it…

    i use to told myself, watever it is there is always a gud and a bad of it, think of the gud side more, and gradually u will be able to mend the bad side too.

    saying is easier than done, but i tried it. at least i tried. and its working for me =)

    cheer up! u never know till u try … ok?
    and always discussed it with ur parents, ur miumiu or ur galfrens, more brains is better than one.

    MUACKS pegs. give u a HUG!

    shiyuan =)

    rinlicious

    April 3, 2008 at 2:19 pm

  62. tis is a stage of growing up.

    making choices.

    i hate it too..
    still u nvr know till u try!

    GO PEGS!

    sorry for my nags.. damn long post… =P

    rinlicious

    April 3, 2008 at 2:21 pm

  63. I really didn’t expect to have so many comments for this blog entry.
    But I really felt much better after reading them.
    True that I have much more experiences that a degree cert cannot bring. And I chose to give up some things to do the things that I truly enjoy. It makes everything worthwhile.

    j, your comment really opened my eyes to things that I haven’t paid attention to.
    “i always wonder how would it be like to fight so hard in this life and realise after that we didnt even get time to sniff flowers on the side. it’s sad that way.”
    – how true is that.

    que sera sera, you were from NTU too? YEA CEE SUCKS! and by the way I dabao-ed more than you. There was one semester where I only passed 2. failed like 6 – in ONE semester! Sigh. But wherever you are studying now, I hope you have found something that you like. And way to go Sera! (I suppose that’s your name?)
    :)

    Karin, your comment inspires me because you are really determined and have a mind of your own. I don’t know whether I’ll be strong enough to handle things if I were to be in your shoes! Things are really not going to be easy with you. Starting from scratch, and already carrying a debt even before you start making money. I think that’s like every fresh graduate’s biggest headache. However, I really salute your strength and will to make things right. and HEY! I love singing as well, very much in fact! Don’t let that passion die. Like one of the readers said, you never know, if you never try!

    big mac, your suggestion kicks ass! I think play Bishi Bashi also not bad!

    Shiyuan, I think you miss me too much to dream of me. :p I’m so happy for you that the suckiest period of your study life is already over, and that you’re doing well now. It really gave me a pat on my back and inspires me to do it too.

    If you peeps can make it through the shittiest days, I think I also can.

    Sorry about not being able to reply to all the comments. But I sincerely thank you peeps for the time for all that. :)

    sixpegs

    April 3, 2008 at 4:02 pm

  64. Hey Peggy, mind giving me your email add? Not to worry, I’m not a stalker! :)

    K

    April 3, 2008 at 5:05 pm

  65. hugs, peggy.

    nobody is perfect in this world. =)

    kel

    April 3, 2008 at 6:23 pm

  66. After this, you’d only be tougher =)) JIAYOU!

    Qt

    April 3, 2008 at 6:35 pm

  67. BE A POLICE OFFICER!

    weiliang

    April 3, 2008 at 7:02 pm

  68. sixpegs

    April 3, 2008 at 7:14 pm

  69. This is a rather emotional entry because i have never seen this side of peggy before. Its really enlightening to hear those words because it relates to people and it lets us know you’re a girl who can be brittle as well. You’ll be somebody somewhere one day, just keep pressing on till your graduation…. Then consider your options again.. Dont stress! All the way, Peggy!!!

    cici

    April 3, 2008 at 8:53 pm

  70. Haha.. such coincidence eh? I was blogging about the same issue too… coz I’m like at the crossroad now. Oh well… take it easy mate, it’s really part of our life i think… it’s like, we’re at the stage where we have to encounter this question, especially in our society today… really, “What is our main objective at the end of the day?” hmm.. i really don’t know. I did consider being a volunteer for some conservation club or relevant, but i remembered I’m a singaporean and it’s like a tradition and culture to follow what the rest of the peers are doing. So, at the end of it, it was still a dilemma. Anyways, cheer up. I hope to hear about your decision and solution to this common problem that we are facing. Cheers!

    Kit

    April 4, 2008 at 12:05 am

  71. hi, i chanced upon your site and i dunno you but i like it because i feel you are doing wat you like….its inevitable that ppl will go through these phrases that they are depressed of confused

    U will work it out….. :)

    Queen

    April 4, 2008 at 12:17 am

  72. since this post so emo..your next post should be filled with wonderful photos of you and the beautiful people in your life. charge em’ batteries now..

    AvidPicViewer

    April 4, 2008 at 3:38 am

  73. yea, i tink i really miss u too much =X

    pegs, my suckiest life of study period is over. and i can tell u is that working a full time job is more sucky than study…

    work is a suck + fuck thing, pardon my lang

    really…. work = more responsiblites, rush deadline…. blahblah…

    worst than skol project… but in terms of the pay, so…. work lor…. my eyebag gets more puffy and dark eyes ring gets darker…

    oh ya! pegs lets learn tattoo skils and open a sixpegs tattoo shop! =)

    life isnt as bad as it is ok?

    something must be done before all the gud things comes =)

    PEGS! U CAN DO IT! GO GO GO!

    miss u =P

    *EDIT FOR MY LAST LAST POST:
    i mean DUN get affected by others.

    sorry!

    Shiyuan

    April 4, 2008 at 10:09 am

  74. and u are sumone i look up too…

    i rmb u sooooo muccchhhhh. cos i once envy u, when u are working at 12, i wish i can do that too.. but i cant.. =(

    keep going and be who u want to be, tis life to too short to be anyone else.

    ‘Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away ‘

    never regret for wat u choose for urself, just like hw u choose for ur tattoo design =)

    Shiyuan

    April 4, 2008 at 10:24 am

  75. Hi Peggy,

    each one of us goes through this stage in life where we all wonder what we do after graduation. No matter how much we succeed, we still eventually find failures in ourselves once in a while. I would say I went through this stage before and I’m still lost about the future.

    I’ve been following your blog for some time because like the others have mentioned, it is indeed very real and enjoyable to read after a long day at school.

    Anyway, stay happy eh. Pop in chocolates when you’re down. They work miracles. Happy pills hee!

    Jen

    April 4, 2008 at 10:47 am

  76. Start by 4givin urself~

    Gifmibkmytable!

    April 4, 2008 at 12:06 pm

  77. hey pegs,i used to wonder what i was meant to do on earth.was it just to enjoy life, get a good job, get married, have a happy family, grow old and die?there had to be more than that.somehow along the way, i found my purpose in Jesus.i’m sure He can help you too.. anyway, press on! there’s got to be sth good out of every situation.you’ve been made special.and you dont have to live up to anyone’s expectations, because you are special the very way you are! :DD

    dirtyfingers

    April 4, 2008 at 1:02 pm

  78. hey.
    ive got one more choice for ya!
    go escape and shout your lungs out!
    really duper shiok.

    big mac

    April 4, 2008 at 1:09 pm

  79. peggy, u shld start a fan site!
    then u can earn money from selling merchandise!
    (just a crazy suggestion. haha!)

    xyerdua

    April 4, 2008 at 1:52 pm

  80. my life aint tt good in poly either. repeating modules like a thousand times and eating lunch alone! its not tt we cant study but we r simply the heart person. we do wad we have intrest in and we excel in it! i guess its a phrase everyone have to go tru! so good luck!

    summer

    April 4, 2008 at 2:02 pm

  81. hello peggy, y dont you try out Public Relations? you sure have the personality, media experience and networking skills for the job. dont worry about not having the right degree, because for PR, it is ultimately the character and personality of a person that counts. you definitely have more of what it takes than what some PR majors have. just a suggestion. :)
    take care and all the best. :)

    :)

    April 4, 2008 at 2:52 pm

  82. Cussie!anyhow,you look so stress up.
    don’t think too much,you’re perfect and that’s what this world needs.
    People with looks and brains :D
    anyway,link me up and shall meet up for shopping,as i MISS one with you :D

    tc-

    raylene

    April 4, 2008 at 4:04 pm

  83. Hello babe!
    I’m sort of here to cheer u up!
    Honestly.. i envy you alot previously.. but now i would say.. we are all jus normal human beings! we hav imperfections everywhere… all i hope for was for u to be yaself..
    its so tiring to be someone under a mask.. jus like me.. i’m no gd in studies n i dunno wats e goals in my life.. its sucky yeah.. but.. life goes on.. n i jus hope for positive stuff to happen!
    Look at the bright side gal.. u still hav a lovin family, bf and gfs to stand by u.. and ur much loved by all ya readers! All the best! Hugs!! =)

    Rach

    April 4, 2008 at 5:40 pm

  84. since pple love wat u write..
    u can go be a reporter! then u can take pictures.. report on wat u see and get a lot of viewership!!

    -siaowen-

    April 4, 2008 at 7:57 pm

  85. I’m not going to say much. because whatever that is needed to be said was already being told. but most importantly, i know you have it in you to be able to get through this.

    babe, this is what i would call an ‘episode’ of your life. and trust me, this too shall pass.

    i have only three words:

    i f e e l you. :)

    Go listen ok?

    music has this amazing therapeutic way of making oneself feel better. I reckon other than time, it is the next best doctor anyone can ever ask for. :)

    xy

    April 4, 2008 at 9:52 pm

  86. hey babe… hang on there ya… i love reading your blog, like wad others say you’re bloggin your real you yea? don’t bother wad other people comment bout you cuz they are not you…

    cheer up eh! =)

    annie

    April 4, 2008 at 10:37 pm

  87. everyone’s so supportive in their comments.. u ought to really count ya blessings! whenever the thought of life as being so hard and tiring and all passes u by, think on the other side of the world – someone is having a far worse day/life than what u are going through right now..

    tho i know i ain’t in no position to say what u should feel and what u shouldnt cuz i don’t have to fork out my own school fees and all, but at the end of the day, u ought to feel contented with what life has given u… things and people that others may not even have or dare to wish for!

    peggy, it’s alright to think negatively sometimes cuz it feels like there is no light at the end of ya tunnel (i feel the same way too).. but not OD yea, save the bit where u suffer from depression!

    i hope u will make the best out of ya life…

    rgds, mich

    mich

    April 4, 2008 at 11:45 pm

  88. hiya peggy..
    eh cheer up… i got retained for a year too…heh @#%^$@%…..
    and i read your blog cos i think you seem nice..and the entries are interesting and v real… :)

    charmant

    April 5, 2008 at 12:18 am

  89. i read your blog because i find your posts really sincere and true about yourself. Maybe you dont write about all the nooks and crannies of your life but you definitely do write honestly bout yourself.

    being a fellow LEO, i believe you wont get knock down by any obstacles that are coming your way.. instead you will only grow stronger right? ;)

    you’re a tough girl =)

    wurls

    April 5, 2008 at 12:45 am

  90. hi peggy…i was fr ntu cee too.i tink 1 or 2 batch ur senior.ok,diz is gg to sound rather biantai. there was once i saw this girl (who is u la,but didnt know who u were then) on 179 who i thot was reali attractive n stood out fr others.since then,i noticed u ard sch a few times n even told my frens abt ‘the stylish girl’ i saw.subsequently i realized u were in some of my lectures (cuz i dabao damn alot of subj too),ha so i was secretly bio-ing u. pls dun freak out,i have a bf n im totally straight. im just a very kpo girl who likes to pple-watch, bio pretty girls n observe their dress sense-accessories/clothes/bags/skin/makeup/hair/body etc. n i reali xin shang ur style. later on,i happened to chance upon ur blog,which i enjoy reading (n erm..honestly,also cuz im kpo la).but yea,datz abt it.im no stalker n dun mean any harm yah? the reason im dropping by now to leave my first comment is juz to let u know u’re not alone…i totally hate engineering.ended up there cuz..well stupid long stories to it.anyway i didnt choose cee,was dumped there cuz did badly in yr1. didnt quit cuz i dunno wat i wan to study or wat im interested in oso..n i had no $$ to pay up the bank loan. i dabao every single sem,everyday is a dread n all the time i was cursing every f**king subj during exams/tut/lect.it totally sux,n even now when i tink of it,the times in ntu was reali HELL. pple always say u’ll miss sch when u start work blah..but it doesnt happen to me at all.im juz SO glad to b out of it.yea so i totally understand how u feel. i felt reali stupid n useless too..esp when i failed diz module for 4 bloody times! but somehow,miraculously i managed to grad.the relief is soooo great n u’ll even feel proud of urself tt u made it thru. ha altho my transcript was like 90% Ds,Es & Fs. currently,im working as something non-engine related at all (juz wanna let u know tt itz still possible to find an ok job despite our lousy civil degree.ha..) yep,so hope tt u can hang in there till the end.n ignore the hurtful comments! remind urself tt at least u have a more ‘happening’ n fulfiling life than those pple who dun even know watz truly gg on,but still gae-kiang n make such remarks.
    ehh sorry diz is such a long comment… okok zong zhi,wish u all the best for watever remaining modules n fyp.trust me,all diz sh*t will pass somehow..u’ll become a stronger person at the end of it. =) Good Luck!~

  91. For ur remaining AUs in NTU, spend more time in ur studies. Cut down on outside job assignments, clubbing and frenz gathering if they r taking up more time than u shd afford on them. Just clear those AUs n u’ll graduate with the hard-earned degree n be FREED. Upon graduation, u mite consider turning into a full-time celebrity blogger or work in a non-engineering field like recruitment or PR (make gd use of ur charisma & gd interpersonal skills). U can try out auditions at Mediacorp or some artiste mgmt companies to gain a chance to be discovered if u find tt being a public figure is ur ideal self at the end of the day. I really think u belong to the entertainment circle. Good lucks n all e best. =)

    raye

    April 5, 2008 at 11:09 am

  92. Hey pegs, ive been wanting to tell you this. I LOVE reading your blog because you always sound so happy (really happy, not those sheer pleasures like “Oh my bf bought me a LV bag!! kinda shit)

    N i admire you the most among all the bloggers.
    I LOVE you for not putting nuffnang ads on your blog, youre the only blogger ive came across so far WITHOUT a nuffnang ad.

    I really cant stand everyone putting nuffnang ads in their blogs now.

    Anyway, you will get over this ‘depression’ one la. i always fall into depression this way too. In few days time, you’ll feel better and have to continue to work hard to graduate (life is just a bitch. we live to study??)

    *

    April 5, 2008 at 3:59 pm

  93. I used to top the class when I was in JC. Until I choose a major which I totally hate to the core, I became unmotivated, and I blog about exploring new places, singing and dancing all the times too, without talking abt my career (which I am totally clueless about). Unlike you I pretended I know when I am going in my replies to my friends’ questions.

    You are not lazy, you are just turned-off by your major like me. And you have pretty lots of distraction too. Press on, get your degree, follow your heart and spend the rest of your life doing what you like. You are not far from 30 years old. So devout your energy into doing what you really want, regardless of what others might thing, regardless of what is expected of you =)

    Shas

    April 5, 2008 at 5:47 pm

  94. lol. wordpress cant have nuffnang ads, neither nuffnang can put to wordpress

    anon

    April 5, 2008 at 6:10 pm

  95. WOAH! LOOK AT THE NUMBER OF COMMENTS!

    You’re very loved, Peggy!

    There will definitely be ppl who judge you, scrutinise you and bring you down an all, but you have us. :)

    J.P

    April 5, 2008 at 7:31 pm

  96. pls cheer up. so what if u cant graduate along with ur batch? whats one more sem? i WASTED 2+ FREAKIN’ YEARS in the army.
    there r ALOT of things u can do, which doesnt neccessarily have to be related to ur degree, cause u r a survivor.

    weiliang

    April 5, 2008 at 8:03 pm

  97. Haiz, we’re of the same school, same faculty, same plot, same tragedy, same case….

    I SERIOUSLY hate CEE too… and i m worst den u now, seriously…

    And i HATE it too when pple ask the same question:”WHEN R U GRADUATING?”

    Ur post made mi tear, cuz i dun even dare to write my feelings down on my own blog… and all the things tat u wrote, its exactly how i felt too. I feel so ashamed of myself…

    I really dunno when can i grad!!!!! i want to grad so badly cuz i dun wan to spend my mum’s CPF $$ too… but i juz kept failing my modules… sigh, and exams r ard the corner, but my fyp needs so much editing. And my fyp prof says he is not goin to let me pass my fyp…

    Sigh…. YYYYYY?!

    regine

    April 6, 2008 at 2:09 am

  98. GirL~
    U are wonderful the way u are!!!
    *JIA YOU*! U CAN DO IT!!! :D
    Have Faith and God Bless!!!
    Don’t let anyone convince u any otherwise~
    Best Wishes forever and more in life!!! :D
    Sincerely from me!!! :D

    Vivien

    April 6, 2008 at 2:19 am

  99. Gal, dun fret anymore…u r reali fortunate..1 distress entry and u haf 98 comments of concern..
    cheer up, there’s still lotsa happy things awaiting for u… :)

    chaos

    April 6, 2008 at 3:36 pm

  100. wow 99 comments. :) am i number 100? anyway.. havent been surfing your blog for quite awhile, and thought i’d just drop you a note askin u to cheer up. not very convincing coming from me.. (someone who’s having a tough time too)…

    your statement bout the rat race is so right… i’m caught up in it, and i cant let go nor go slow, i’ve gotta keep up, but i’m killing myself in the process. ugh.

    life goes on doesnt it? you’d do fine! :)

    valxval

    April 6, 2008 at 10:48 pm

  101. really want to thank you all for the comments.
    just want to let you guys know that i read through each and every comment before approving them and i really appreciate all your effort and time.
    they really make a difference, and made me feel loved at the very very least.
    :)

    love.

    sixpegs

    April 8, 2008 at 1:32 am

  102. hi.. passby.. life is full of up and down.. u won koe wad will happen e next min.. cheers up! bt it is best to let out den u put it in ur heart.. after saying out u will feel better.. gooood luck and jiayou!!

    FANG

    April 8, 2008 at 11:54 pm

  103. Hi peggy,

    hope by now you are up and cheery again… I guess life is lidat, that’s why God put us here to make us go thru’ it and learn it the hard way… We often have regrets and made mistakes simply because we are not perfect… And no one is perfect, true enough we all have problems.. but its how you manage them makes the difference…
    You have already achieved alot in life which many are not up to it… so be proud of yourself… And you live for a reason, be it for your love or your family… and these ppl truely love you for who u are =)

    and i really enjoy reading your blog … its much interesting then my boring life…

    PS: saw u today at RP reharsing probably… u look GREAT! =)

    melgrace

    April 9, 2008 at 2:31 pm

  104. hey FANG thank you very much. i’m actually feeling much better already. not exactly emo anymore.

    melgrace, thanks too. you are true. no one is perfect and there are really many other people who are more unfortunate as compared to me. thanks for reading though girl. and yea i was there for some show for some cheena brand. hahaha. dammm hide*** one their clothes.. please don’t come and watch! LOL! and thanks.

    sixpegs

    April 9, 2008 at 9:14 pm

  105. Happy Happy Happy!

    Always smile like me – Cookie Monstor :D

    Cookie Monstor

    April 17, 2008 at 1:48 am

  106. Sometimes, we just need to stop beating up ourselves so badly.

    There is always a balance we try to strike, trying to keep up to our own expectations, while living up to others… and we get angry with ourselves when the scale tips to the other side.

    I think I am slowly not making sense here anymore, but just to wish you well. I bet many people wish to be like you. and thanks for speaking up about the insecurities most of us face from day to day. :)

    Scarlett Ting

    April 23, 2008 at 10:04 pm

  107. forgot to add, don’t waste ur youth. go run unbridled, go skip in the rain, do what you enjoy. don’t leave room for regrets when you get stuck unhappily in the office, and wonder what couldhavebeen.

    i am much older, and still aimlessly searching. but i think sometimes i look back, and i could smile, and thats the beauty of it all.

    Scarlett Ting

    April 23, 2008 at 10:08 pm


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